When a boundary has been crossed and we feel resentful, our interactions with others change. We might lash out at them, pointing out their ingratitude and thoughtlessness. Or we can withdraw, choosing to keep them at arm’s length, avoiding them, not returning calls, etc. We may experience a loss of power and self-esteem. When we find ourselves behaving or feeling this way, we might look at how we’ve allowed our boundaries to be violated.
A conscious response to a boundary violation involves awareness of how we react and planning how to behave in the future with more wisdom. It doesn’t mean that we blame the other or ourselves.
It’s a tricky business knowing when and where to draw the line, especially if we have a history of never saying no. People can be perplexed or upset when we’re not our usual selves—at their beck and call. We may feel their hurt or disapproval, a diminishing of their affection, and a sense that the relationship is deteriorating. In setting a boundary we may learn some truths about ourselves, the other person and our relationship that can cause discomfort and pain.
source
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment