He found me in an online community too

If you feel like joining an online community right now to share your passion and interest, why not join 3gb community www.3gb.biz? This community is offering virtual friendship and who knows it'll go beyond that.

The website is 3gb.biz and it's of course FREE to browse and join. I am a member of certain communities online and I've meet lots of good friends there. My husband found me in an online community too :)

A friend

So what is the real meaning of friendship? You know, I had so many heartaches in the name of friendship. It's so mysterious how we became so close to another person yet oftentimes when it's tested, it's falling apart pieces by pieces.

I guess that's how life is or should I say, that's how love is. But I have a question, is it wrong to try and correct what you think is wrong on what your friends' doing? If you'll ask me, my stand is that..I love that friend and I'm concern with him/her to the point that I'll break the rule of "mind your own biz" and I'll mind his/her biz.

Let's say, I'm not so kind enough to let you lend my shoulder after you have your heartbreak, while I've given you the warning ahead of time. And hey have I told you that she was tested by a common friend and she also flirted with him? :)

Sounds crazy huh and absurd but our friend has the proof..

If you don't listen still...go get yourself another friend so when you get hurt in the end you'll have their shoulder to cry on...my shoulders are not meant and available for you.

Kung sa binisaya pa.. gi-ingnan bitaw tika..

Tya

I am talking to one of my very close friends right now and she always makes me smile. I don't know...we connect on so many ways. We talk from one topic to another. She saw me on the down most point in my life, she also saw me on the happiest days.

I love talking to her, we might be talking nonsense sometimes but talking to her is one of the most great talks I always have. I consider myself to be blessed because I have her. I found a gem on her and you bet she's one of a kind.

If there is one person who knows me well, that's her.

Love you friend and I promise I'll take care of this friendship. You mean so much to me.

What's wrong with 'should' and 'ought'

A must read for anybody who's in a relationship..


While exceedingly and commonly used, "should" and "ought" could easily be eliminated from our vocabulary. At the very least, we would all feel a lot better. Should and ought are guilt-producing words: "I should spend more time with my mother," "I really ought to lose some weight." The sayer doesn't really intend to do what he is shoulding or oughting. If so, he'd say, "I will spend more time with Mom," or "I'm going to start dieting today."

Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back: You are punishing yourself with your "I should" or "I ought" statements. Your guilt is eased with your punishment, making it possible to go on with your life, while never following through with what you said you should or ought to do.

In the case of love, shoulds and oughts give us a way out when we need it, just like being picky. Looking for love is loaded with anxiety: "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I find out I don't really love her?" "What if he finds out about (you fill in the blank)?" When your anxiety screams for relief, pulling out a good old should or ought can provide your escape hatch.

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Do you expect too much from your relationship?

We all deserve to find people who connect with us, who care for us, who make us laugh, who drive us crazy (in a good way), and who make us feel more excited than a popcorn kernel in a microwave.

Of course, we should all strive for all five qualities, not settle for two or three of the total. That said, many of us have unfair expectations of what relationships are supposed to be like.

Blame it on the movies, or romance novels, or Barbie-and-Ken mythology, but seeking perfection in a relationship isn't noble; it's doomed. Think about the lottery winners: They play with the hope that they'll score big, quit the job, buy a yacht, and party for the rest of their lives.

But the reality for so many mega-bucks winners is that they end up in a dead-end life with relatives clawing at them and bankruptcy lawyers dividing the spoils. Why? Because their expectations of their fantasy life were far different than the reality, and they end up blowing the so-called best thing that ever happened to them.

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**footnote**
The answer to the question is I DON'T, because no man is perfect plus that's not the real love. Real love can accept a person for whoever she/he is. So there would be no expectations..

Top 10 turnoffs for women

This article is interesting, guys you need to read this. Get an idea as who know it might help you in your incoming date..I mean dates *smile*.

Great Gal Turnoff #1: Showboat Sammy
Maybe he owns a yacht off the coast of France. Maybe he has a timeshare in the Hamptons. Maybe his annual bonus is bigger than most guys' salaries. That's all well and good, but does it really need to be divulged on the first date?

Great Gal Turnoff #2: Messy Melvin
A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy can't even put in the effort for a first impression, it doesn't bode well down the road.

Great Gal Turnoff #3: Rude Ricky
"Where's our drinks, lady?" If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, a great gal will likely assume he'll do the same to her someday.
“The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.”
The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.

Great Gal Turnoff #4: Cheapie Charlie
There will always be debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill; others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.

Great Gal Turnoff #5: Still-Married Michael
Marriage, separation and divorce are pretty cut-and-dry terms. If a guy says he's separated when he really means he's cheating on his wife, it's going to cause trouble. Be honest from the get-go and let the dating chips fall where they may.

Read 6 to 10 here

This goes out to women too..

Top 10 Things That Will Scare Men Away

1. Tell the truth about the person that you are, what you do, and where you have been. When you lie, you break the bond of trust. Once the bond of trust is broken, rebuilding it can take a lifetime.

2. Cheating destroys the trust in a relationship. It also shows a lack of respect for your partner. You totally disregard his feelings. He will often become the center of gossip and humiliation among your group of friends.

3. Trying to control or manipulate his thoughts, beliefs, and actions will result in a failed relationship.

4. Acting arrogant and condescending toward your partner will drive him away faster than you can say, “BOO!” Treat him with respect.

5. You need to be independent of your partner. Maintain your own identity. Have your own downtime and friends. Men don’t like to be suffocated. They like to have an occasional night out with the boys. So, if he decides to go to a Yankees game with his friends, don’t get bent out of shape. He just wants to have some downtime with his friends.

Read 6 to 10 here

I said this goes out to women too because men and women are the same, we both have feelings..we get hurt and get happy. For me, I don't like being lied or cheated.. I am a beleiver of the saying "what comes around goes around".

have a happy reading and aI hope that you'll learn.

Hurt, Loneliness and Lies - What's Behind Them?

How many times have you lied in order to ward off loneliness? We can lie by pretending to really care for someone when all we want is a little company, i.e.; "I love you." And when we find someone more interesting, we lie again to end the old relationship, i.e.; "I just want to be friends now, Okay?"

We can lie with our eyes, with what we write, with our body language, and of course with our words. We mostly lie to ourselves, however, and this is why all lies catch up to us sooner or later. A person that lies or a person that is lonely is a person that is confused about life.

When we look closely at what causes loneliness and lies, we can see that it involves a lack of stimulation. When we are born, we come complete with a battery of sense organs. We can feel things, taste things, smell things, see things, hear things, and think about things. Together, these feelings form a perfect storm when all of our senses are stimulated exquisitely by a close relationship. When the relationship ends, however, all this stimulation is lost, and we feel devastated. So is it the person that we miss, or the stimulation? Apparently, it is the stimulation, because as soon as we find someone or something new, everything is cool again. So, what is more important, our need for stimulation, or our need for people? The two are closely connected.

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Is he the right guy for me?

Perhaps you have been dating a man who seems to be very caring, loving & supportive. You wonder & want to seek relationship advice, "Is he the right man for me?" How do you know if Mr. Right is going to be that man who will be willing to commit to a meaningful relationship & is a person who you can feel comfortable with for the rest of your life? Here are a few guidelines that might help you make that decision.

When relationships begin, each person is putting on their best face. Of course we don't want the other person to know that down deep inside of us, we are really insecure & have characteristics about ourself that we keep hidden. It is not until the relationship becomes committed or the legal binding of marriage occurs that it is safe to begin to allow that aspect to surface, with less fear that your partner is going to leave you. This is true for everyone on some level, whether one is conscious or unconscious about those insecurities.

It is common for that shadow side to surface after a commitment is made in the relationship, leaving feelings of disappointment. The biggest flaws will be the deepest hidden. There are qualities of a man to look for that will let you know that your man is capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. And this indeed forms the relevant part of relationship advice.

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You are in a blooming relationship if..

* You and the other qualities both want the same thing in your relationships upcoming - you have gossiped about it and know densely what your dear sees in the upcoming and it densely matches what you see.

* You are moreover expenses every minute neither in handle, nor only since each other infrequently. Each of you has a life you charge, and at the same time you are eager to get to know each other.

* You waste time together in qualities, so that both of you can get to know and have plain experiences with each other.

* You can ask each other something and not have to split with defending reactions or enmity. If one of you does something queer by the other's values, there is no setback in asking what it means.

* Moreover of you are available into the relationship because you "must" the relationship, interest, affection, dear or validation from other qualities.

* You have like communication styles. If you like to gossip, you are with another gossiper, or a slanderer. You are not with somebody who thinks lexis are unnecessary or who rolls his or her eyes or gets defending when you want to gossip.

Read the rest of the entry here

Fixing a break up..

This goes out both for men and women, if you feel like you made a bad decision by leaving/breaking up with your gf/bf then try to win her back again. Read some tips here on how to fix it up..

If you are in a position where you feel that a breakup is on the way but you have not yet gotten to that point then the time to act is immediate. Do not allow a moment to go by until you sit down and have a good conversation with your partner. Don't hold back on account of feeling that it is beneath you or something that you cannot do, if you really want to make sure that you are fixing the breakup then you will take this important step. Another important thing that you should do whenever you are trying to work with a breakup that has not yet happened is to try and discuss the future of your relationship in a positive way.

If you have already ended up breaking up then you need to do some other things to get back together. It's pretty obvious if the two of you were at one time together and now you are no longer together that you have grown apart. If you can just figure out where it is that you grew apart and differences between you and them now and whenever you first got together then you will be able to see a clear picture of where things went wrong. Try to make what changes you can then allow them to see those changes naturally, being careful not to be overly aggressive, and you may find that they are attracted to you all over again.

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Long Distance Relationship..could it survive?

An important point to remember is that online or long distance relationships will generally become more serious more quickly, often plans for the future are made and commitment is given a lot more quickly than you would with someone you have just met in real life. However you can never truly know what someone is like until you have met them, it would be wise to leave any commitment until you meet them face to face, that way you know exactly what you are going into.

One of the major problems if you have met someone on the internet, is how to meet up with them. The most important thing is to make sure it’s safe. Before arranging to meet up try to speak with them on the phone, watch them on webcam if they have one, and also send a letter in the post so you can be sure they do actually live where they say they do. When you do actually go to meet them, or they come to you, make sure you have someone with you, a friend or family member, and try to meet in a public place.

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**footnote
I and my husband had a long distance relationship before we got married too but we survive. We both work it out and thank God we're together now.

If you suspect him cheating..read here

How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating


Here are some guidelines on how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating, that will help you to find out the truth. You can find sudden changes in the behavior of your boyfriend's behavior and routine. The changes may not have any considerable reasons. Verify the changes carefully. The time spent with the co- workers and friends increases. He may start going to office or other places before required time. Other than these changes in routine, you can look for more clues on how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating you.

If you find further points then you have space to suspect on your boyfriend. You smell new type of perfume on his cloths that you are unaware of. He suddenly starts becoming attentive towards you. He pays less attention to household work, such as cleaning or fixing a problem. The boyfriend may become more demanding and innovative during making love or may loose complete interest in it. He starts hiding his finance related matters. Frequent withdrawal of money from ATMs increases.

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Some advice here

How To Make Your Ex Miss You Enough To Want You Back


1. First of all, it’s counter productive to want or even try to hurt someone who you love. What you’re doing by making him/her see you with someone else is trying to make him/her feel insecure and unvalued. And most men and women are already insecure and lacking in self-worth without you even trying. All this does is make them withdraw even further into themselves or find someone else who makes them feel better about themselves. Those who are secure and have a strong sense of self-worth usually don’t want second-hand stuff, used merchandize or leftovers. They’ll be too proud to take you back.

2. Secondly, the flow of attention and affection which should be directed towards making someone feel affection and desire is disturbed by such a maneuver. Dividing your affection and directing your attention towards more than one person makes you unable to give enough to one or the other, nor take enough from either. You often end up alone.

Read the rest of the entry here

Now that she's gone

You've been with her for many years. You have shared the ups and downs, the tragedies and the triumphs. You became used to each other and shared your dreams, the dreams you both had, with bright eyes and wondrous anticipation when you were young. . . . And then one day, she was gone.

Just that fast, she was gone. You didn't have a chance to say goodbye, or tell her what she meant to you, or ask her what you will do without her. She was just . . . gone.

You walk through the house and find her here and there, the lamp you both argued about, but she let you win; her favorite, cracked cup that she glued back together so carefully; little things, a million memories, and you wonder how you will go on.

It's too quiet now. No one there to say, "HI Babe; how was your day?" Just the mocking silence. Why is the pain so unbearable? What is it with life anyway? Does it all come down to this; this crushing loneliness? Will there ever be another? No, there couldn't be, not like that one. You could never let yourself fall so deeply in love again, it's too painful.

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Getting your ex-boyfriend back

If you're completely sure you want to reunited with a cherished ex for the right reasons, here are a number of things you can do if you wish to get your ex boyfriend back.

Take extra care of your appearance...at all times! An ex-boyfriend is more likely to get back with a former girlfriend who's prettier than someone who's uglier. It may be unfair but that's often how life works.

Use intuition and discreet information-gathering techniques to determine if your ex-boyfriend will respond positively to the words "I want you back". It's usually one or the other.

Why did you break up in the first place? If it was something about you, could you do something now to change or eliminate the problem?

Making your ex-boyfriend jealous could work either way. If you're determined to use this approach, make sure not to hit on any of your mutual acquaintances, especially those close to him. That will only lead to complicated trust and betrayal issues.

Play hard to get... but not too much! Guys love challenges, but they also have very defined time limits in their mind. Make sure you know what are those and then give in gracefully.

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Filipino Wedding- What to Expect

In the Philippines, the male usually foots the bill for the wedding. Sometimes, the bride's family will offer to pay for other incidental expenses but this is possible if she is marrying a Filipino. As a foreigner, expect that all expenses will be shouldered by you.

Weddings with reception in the Philippines can run anywhere from P50,000 - 250,000 pesos, that is about US$1,000 to $5,000. This includes the fees for the use of the church, facilities and food for the reception, transportation to and from the church and reception venue, gifts, singers and entertainers for the wedding ceremony and reception, flowers and decorations, invitations, photographer or videographer, dresses for the bridesmaids and bride's parents, wedding cake, wedding gown, wedding rings, accommodation expenses for yourself, the bride's family, relatives and guests.

It is also a practice to get as many sponsors as you possibly can to witness your wedding. Some couples even have 50 pairs of male (ninong) and female (ninang) sponsors. You can also expect hordes of relatives and neighbors to be there for your wedding. It does not matter whether you send them invitations or not, because for them they are automatically invited to the festivities. A lechon baboy (roasted pig) is ever-present in weddings and you must be prepared to buy more than one.

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Learning to let go

Letting go is never easy, and yet there are times when all you could do is to let go. Although the thought of letting go (be it someone or something) brings panic and sadness, avoiding to think about it is not helpful.

When you are in a bad relationship, although you might not want to admit it, you will be able to sense that something is not right. Many people are confused or even upset when their relationships don't go as planned. It is normal for people to hang onto their relationships for as long as they can, even if their hearts know that it is not right.

After trying to sort things out with no avail, the last thing and the only thing you can do for a bad relationship is to let go. To let go is to accept that there is nothing else you could do to make the relationship better, to understand that things don't always happen as they are planned, to stop becoming obsessed, and to remember that nobody is at fault. Life is always filled with options and by letting go of the bad relationship, you now have new freedoms and opportunities. It's just a matter of time till you find the right person for yourself.

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Hospital Romance May Largely Be Fiction

Is working in a hospital or doctor's office a prescription for passion?

If you believe the stories in the burgeoning and steamy genre of medical romance novels, the answer would be a resounding "yes."

But a psychiatrist writing in the correspondence section of the Oct. 27 issue of The Lancet did a study of these novels and claims the real world of medicine is a lot less torrid.

"The real ER is a lot less exciting, I regret to tell you," said Dr. Brendan Kelly, senior lecturer in psychiatry at University College Dublin in Ireland.

Entire article

For me, television drama or pocketbook novels is a mixture of fiction and reality. There would be a little twist or an added emotion in the story but more or less it happened in real life. Probably they took it from their own experience or from their surroundings :).